Sexy, yes, but she should never become the center of your existence.
Every man has a different reaction to swallowing the red pill. Some refuse to accept it, some get upset as their egos and belief system are challenged, some are fairly surprised but take it in stride, and some just use it to greater fortify what they were starting to understand already. Their reactions may several of these, none of the above, or something else.
Men are often introduced to the red pill through the likes of innovative writers such as Roosh V, Roissy, and Rollo Tomassi. These men are among the most prominent writers in the manosphere, and their writings largely focus on sexual dynamics and/or game. For this and multiple other reasons, a newly red-pilled man’s focus often becomes on getting better with women before anything else.
That is not to say that this is the wrong thing to do; it is absolutely necessary to become better with women. This also does not mean that every player is making this mistake, but there are certainly plenty who do. Pussy becomes too high on the priority list for many red-pill men — even those who have been in the game for a while. This has the side-effect of pedestalizing women and allowing their response to you to affect your self-esteem and self-worth.
Again, you do have to get any issues with women handled — you need to have real experience with women to be a real man. You need to be able to pass your genes without being screwed over in life. You need to be able to have sex, for your own mental health and pleasure, without allowing yourself to get tooled, have your time wasted, robbed in divorce court, and so forth.
But whether you are in the initial red-pill stage or well beyond it, you must aim to be a complete man who follows the road of self-fulfilment and masculinity — not just a man who chases women. Aim to have masculine hobbies, set powerful goals, and learn to self-improve in every way imaginable. Develop a life mission that is ambitious and masculine; your focus must go well beyond just meeting and bedding women.
Remember: game is like sales. From a game standpoint, improving yourself as a man improves the product. Learning game and charisma improves the sales. Even if you don’t listen to this advice and still center your validation upon women, understand that by improving yourself you are still maximizing your success with women by improving your product.
Centering Your Self Esteem Around Women is Foolish
When your focus is solely centered on women, your self-esteem becomes centered on their responses and validation. This is foolish at worst and a valuable life lesson at best.
This is especially a mistake when you have to deal with your average Westernized woman. The flakiness, brashness, self-centeredness and uncontrolled hypergamy of Western women are enough to drive those who use them for validation insane. Those who are stuck in this mindset are easily spotted by their body language and their reactions and statements about women.
— Jack Murphy (@jackmurphylive) May 13, 2017
update! Look at her all crossed up. His legs pointing other direction. pic.twitter.com/lHwVR3FsIT
— Jack Murphy (@jackmurphylive) May 13, 2017
No Jack, they are not fucking.
See the above two tweets. She has her arms crossed, legs closed, and looks very unsure of this guy. In the second picture, he’s emoting heavily, while she isn’t.
Someone needs to red-pill this gentleman. He should lean back a bit, read some red-pill sites, apply the acquired knowledge to his life, and with time he will intuitively understand that American women are among the lowest of the low. In his defense, however, everyone has to learn somewhere. He looks to be in his early twenties, so there is plenty of room for growth.
The experienced man: a man who has traveled extensively, a man who has been through many highs and lows, a man with emotional intelligence and options in women seeks little to no validation from women.
When you’ve been around the world and you’ve had many adventures, you’ve slept with your fair share of women, you are strong and confident in your self-defense abilities and ability to manipulate the world, and when you intrinsically know that you are the total package as a man despite any of your shortcomings, the validation of one silly American girl has absolutely no impact on your well-being. This belief drives every behavior that you enact upon the world. People can feel this energy inside of you, and it makes you attractive to both men and women and it makes them want to be around you.
It truly takes time to get to this point. If you feel that you are not at this point yet, then you must continue to improve yourself as a man while you continue to get better with women. With time and experience, you will better be able to solidify yourself as a complete man who cares little for the opinion of others.
Your Life Mission Must Come First
The unpleasant fact for many men is that women come and go. Unless you get a woman to commit to you for the rest of your life and successfully keep her faithful, she will be out of your life eventually. Much of your time invested into a woman typically becomes time much better spent elsewhere. It takes most men the departure of multiple women in their lives to hammer this point into their brains.
For this and many other reasons, you absolutely must be the center of your own universe. You set the frame that others can either join along for the ride, whether it be men or women, or quickly be discarded from your life. You do this through many actions, particularly by exercising and therefore creating a masculine energy about you, combined with having the mindset of a man who aims to achieve real goals and become self-fulfilled. When you adopt this mindset, everything else falls into place on its own.
Set real goals that you aim to accomplish every day of your existence. Enjoy masculine hobbies. Cut out the bullshit from your life. If you are fairly new to the game and the red pill, getting great with women should be one of your goals. However, it should only be one of many goals aimed at making yourself a true man.
Men should never center their lives around women. Those who avoid this trap have more stability and life success, and they ironically do better with women — granted that they don’t go full MGTOW and decide to forego the game entirely.
Remember, however, that women have a fundamental role in a man’s life. Do not misinterpret this post to believe that you should become a sexless eunuch. This is only saying that you should not make them your priority in the grand scheme of life. Your goals, objectives, and mission should be your first priority.
When you are caught up in chasing success and constantly improving, women are a side diversion; a hedonistic pleasure that you indulge in at your will, but little more until you choose to have children. This mindset is ideal towards achieving long-term success, power, and stability, and putting yourself significantly above the pack of average Western men.
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