One of the most important skills you can learn is to know how to add value to people. This means building your skills and knowledge, maximizing your value to others, and knowing how to leverage it effectively. Knowing how this principle works ultimately ends up significantly contributing to your own life as people open up to you, offer you useful relationships, and get you better deals in life.
You can add value in many ways, whether it’s done by having social value, sharing business interests, having useful skills, and so on. Some methods add more value than others depending on what your target is searching for. Here are seven ways to add value to people’s lives.
1) Be Well Balanced and Interesting
You come to this blog for a reason, right? Simply having a diverse set of interests gives you social value. If you travel, if you lift, if you read philosophy and history, and so on, then you can use that knowledge to be a more interesting person. The more diverse your interests and the more knowledgeable you are, the more people you can add value to. See here, and frankly, just read this blog in general.
2) Contribute to Someone’s Interests
This falls in line with point #1. This can mean having similar business interests or it can mean having the knowledge and skills to contribute to someone’s career and hobbies. You can be in a position above them in a respective field, or you can be on similar ground to them. The higher up you are the more likely they will want to start some type of relationship with you. If you are attempting to develop a relationship with someone in a higher position than you, then make sure they are aware of the other ways that you can benefit them.
Bring people up, not down. Be a force of positivity. Make others see you as someone who can help them go further in life, whether it’s in their career, status, or hobbies.
3) Be Sexually Attractive
This means being charismatic, in shape, interesting, and well dressed.
This is obviously true to add value to your conversations with women. It’s also true for bringing high quality male friends in your life, succeeding in business, and getting more respect in general. Read: the attraction bias. This is a fact of life, so use it your advantage. Learn game, which is essentially just maximizing charisma targeted at bedding women.
Remember that overweight people are not taken nearly as seriously at anything they do or say. Why should you listen to a fat doctor or a fat dietitian about your health and diet? People are biased against fat people. You are too. If you are overweight, lose weight now.
4) Have Something Somebody Wants, Such as Money and Influence
Having money and/or influence is one of the most obvious ways that you can add value. It also takes a lot of time to acquire for most people.
This includes respect from being so good at one particular skill that people come to you for it. This is something that is built up over time and is a byproduct of hard work that you put into yourself and by marketing your skills. If people come to you for something, then others will see it and social proof will be on your side.
If you have acquired wealth and influence, you can leverage it by teaching people how you have gotten to your position. Any time I meet someone who is rich (I’ve met quite a few millionaires recently), I seek to get their knowledge and figure out what steps they took to become rich.
Always be skeptical of anyone who wants your money, especially if you have not yet developed a business relationship with them. Spend your money wisely.
5) Connect With People Conversationally
Know how to interact and connect with various types of people. Find out more about them and find common ground. All else being the same, someone with charisma has much more value than someone without it.
It can be very surprising how much you can add to the social atmosphere by being positive and making people feel better about themselves, and therefore feel better about being around you. They will open up themselves to you in ways that you couldn’t have previously imagined.
If you can see that people are perking up when they’re around you, then you’ve added value to them. If they are engaged and they are asking you questions, then they care enough about you to want to know more about you. This usually only happens if you have turned them on in some way.
Be positive and provide feedback to people. You never know how much a few words of feedback can help someone out. Being positive is contagious to all but the most negative personalities.
6) Be in a Position of Power Over Somebody
The more status you achieve in life, the more you find people kissing your ass. Much of people’s friendliness towards you may be to get something out of you, but the point is that you can leverage your power to get favors from them. If you connect with them personally and you have power over them, they will like you more than if you connect with them but don’t have power over them.
7) Have Skills Useful to a Person or Organization
A primary way to add value to people is to build up useful skills. If your skills are objectively useful to a person or group, people are naturally going to come to you when they need those skills. You should unapologetically know your own value.
You also must know how to leverage your skills. Make sure people know you are useful to them without pounding it into their heads. If you can make them reliant on you, then you have more leverage and value to them.
People are always friendliest to you when they see you in a position of strength and when you have utility to them. People will typically be friendly to you in these situations, but it doesn’t reveal everything about their personality or intentions. Remember that a person’s true character is tested under adverse situations; especially once they become emotional.
It may sound elementary, but you should take the time to write down all your strengths. Consider what type of people these strengths apply to. When you analyze it in your own free time, it will become more readily available for when you want to add value to influence someone.
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